IGN gives us an article that could be described as riffing gold.
This isn’t directed at Andy (as I believe Disney or a higher-up made him say that), but Rian Johnson keeping Snoke mysterious (vague) for a standalone film is the worst excuse yet. Objectively. Why? Simple – the inherent logic falls apart when you think about without any evidence. Saying the haters are all the afraid of powerful women existing takes evidence to disprove thanks to an inherent connection between the dislike of the film, the female lead, and the existence of this (unpopular) mentality. The fact that the evidence to disprove that is “hey, women think it’s crap too” and that most of the criticism was the writing of the female characters rather than their mere existence should speak volumes of the stupidity of such a claim, but it’s still required evidence. This excuse with Snoke doesn’t reach that far.
They are literally saying “In order to give him a stand-alone movie, we made the character not stand out at all.” That is literally what Andy’s quote means, and (lets for a moment assume this isn’t a smelling pile of world-class bullshit) completely misses the point of a stand-alone film. Standalone films are for stand out characters who can stand alone. We haven’t seen C3PO – A Star Wars Movie because he can’t stand on his own. He needs both R2D2 and a humanoid character to banter with. I’m not hearing any demands a standalone movie for the Tusken Raiders- they can stand alone and – OH WAIT! Who cares about them?
Han Solo barely works as a concept for a stand-alone film because he’s a character who could stand with the supporting cast of the first film… when portrayed by Harrison Ford; I have little faith of the upcoming film, and that was true well before the controversies began. Obi-Wan and Boba Fett can work (dare I say better than Han Solo) because Obi-Wan is a character who is a war general who probably has had many solo adventures without Anakin or Asoka by his side, and Boba Fett is a neutral bounty hunter who could offer a unique perspective on some time-tested situations in Star Wars.
With that in mind, I ask you: name any descriptive traits of Snoke but leave out his position of power and his relation to Kylo Ren. What are you left with? An old guy in space. If that is enough to get you to watch a stand-alone movie that won’t actually tie into star wars in any meaningful way, then watch literally any Star Trek series or film prior to STD as they all feature some old dude in space, along with a whole lot more.
That’s the other big problem – these stand-alone films don’t matter. I know I’m moving away from the Snoke stand-alone/prequel, but follow me on this. When a new comic or book would come out to the EU, it felt like adding to the lore – the kids of the main characters, side characters getting side stories, scenes getting explained. Whatever the case may be, it added to the lore and expanded the appeal of Star Wars to more people. But ever since Disney took over, they (along with Kennedyfilm and Bad Robot) have done nothing but remove and devalue the IP and its characters. But anyone can just say that, but allow me to show you what I mean:
- The first action was the removal of the EU. While this initially made it clear that the EU wasn’t going to be needed to understand the new trilogy of films, there was no need to write off decades of expansions to make the films safe; I doubt anyone expected these new films to account for every book written and most moviegoers don’t care about the EU in the first place outside of the more dedicated fans. But instead, anyone interested in the EU now had less to be excited for while increasing the appeal of the new films by rough 0%.
- Star Wars Rebels is a waste of time. While not terrible, anything good about it comes from The Clone Wars TV series or a previous film. The new characters range from solid to insufferable, with the main child character being the absolute worst. It can’t decide rather it wants to be silly star wars kiddy fun time (like Farces of Destiny clearly wants to be) or the darker side of Star Wars – mood whiplash is common in this show. The plot is the start of the rebellion, but the way it’s written makes the empire look like cartoon villains despite being canon to the movies. So basically, the empire (and by extension, the first order) just got a lot harder to take seriously.
- The Merchandise is crap. WCB did a video (or four) on this matter. tl;dw – the toys aren’t selling because they’re not worth buying. And who can blame consumers? First of all, many toys some people want still aren’t being provided. To give a different example of what World Class Bullshitters used, why not sell LEGO Star Wars Minifigures separate from the sets so that way someone like me with only $15 can get the Minifigures while not spending money on the crap I don’t care about? But as for the toys that ARE being made, the quality is unacceptable, and any half decent toys are far too expensive for most people to buy and are far too limited in use. Why spend $100 on a giant plastic stormtrooper with no more mobility than that of a Lego figure when $120 can get you Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Super Mario Oddessy for that family Nintendo Switch?
- On the subject of video games… the EA deal. Ignoring the loot boxes, this would still be an issue. EA only has interest in live service (previously known as “games as services”) models. These are multiplayer-focused games that use additional monetizations (from one-off DLC packs to infinite microtransactions) to give the game longevity and keep it going off of it while not having to make a new one for some time. Putting the ethics of this practice aside, this model doesn’t lend itself to single-player based gaming, and EA is both aware of it and happy about it (they’ve been trying to shake of single player games for years). As such, EA won’t make single player games, but games with at most single-player modes. This means that the single payer will only have assets and concepts that can be applied to multiplayer (See their first Battlefront game) or the original concepts will be weak as water to save time and resources for multiplayer (see their second Battlefront game). So, if you’re not interested in multiplayer Star Wars games, then you’ll be happy to know that Disney has nothing to offer you for the foreseeable future, or indeed until Disney allows more than one company to work on this IP.
- Rouge One, while I’ll admit to liking, doesn’t need to exist. The opening of Star Wars Episode 4 said everything the needed to be said about stealing the death star plans: Rebels got in, got it, Empire Caught on and followed. What else needed to be said there?
- Episode 8 is the reason I skipped over Episode 7 in this recap. Everything the Episode 7 built up, from Luke Skywalker to Snoke to the future of the universe, was played off as a joke. I don’t care about the switching of direction, Kennedyfilm allowed and approved of this. She/they allowed for Star Wars Episode 8 to remove any meaning episode 7 had. My reward for giving a shit was to be shat on.
Between all of this and what I said about Snoke… please tell me, why should I give a rats ass about the Dull Nonventures of the Galatic Californa Rasin, or indeed any part of the Star Wars IP going forward?
No one professional will ever answer this. Because the answer – there is no reason – won’t benefit them.
My thoughts on Star Wars now are exactly what my mother said when she heard Disney was making Star Wars movies. “We had the Original Trilogy, the Prequel Trilogy, and now the For-Money Trilogy.” This isn’t a sequel series, but rather a Cash-Cow series. And a low-effort one at that.
The Squid Chamber 