Another write up for October, huh? Well, I actually have another one I made with a friend for a plausible (if not unlikely) Mario Kart 9. But I don’t want these vidya write ups to just be “Insert Mario franchise Sequel my friend and I want Volume XX” (because I have other Mario Sport Games write ups as well). So, I wanted this next one to be the opposite of Mario just to keep mixing things up.
And it’s hard to get much further from Mr. Video Game than with Lt. Balls Of Steel, huh?
So for this “Game Pitch,” I’ll go over a plausible guide to bring Duke out of hibernation and have him stand out from the new era of Boomer Shooters.
Part 1: Marketing
Listen to your Potential Customers, Ignore Pointless Complainers
What’s a “Pointless Complainer” in this context? Well, in short, it refers to people online who complain about the qualities of a product or a person who does not affect them, because they have no intention to ever buy that product or ever interact in any meaningful way with that person. The exact reasoning for why so many people do this is anyone’s guess (I personally believe it’s people who live exclusively online looking for something to fight for that doesn’t require any sacrifice on their part), but the important part is that they often have no desire to buy the products they complain about. Take note this is not a political stance, as both Jim Sterling and The Quartering count as Pointless Complainers.
Now I’m assuming the phrase “Potential Consumer” does not need explanation. But I ask: have you ever heard of the phrase “Get Woke, Go Broke?” I have, and I don’t like using it in any serious context these days; I greatly prefer the bold statement above. It’s not fair to say that when you get woke you go broke since “woke” is not the only ideology that can backfire or even destroy a product/business. On top of that, it breaks the age old rule of “customer is always right.” This mindset isn’t meant to be literal – customers don’t just get what they want; it’s to remind everyone that seeing yourself as better than those who fund your business is no way to maintain one.
For example: did the Comic Book Industry collapse because the traditionally left-leaning industry went too far left? That certainly didn’t help, but I’d dare say it was the hiring of people who did not care about their potential customers because the higher ups were too appeased in listening to pointless complainers who where upset over often trivial details that did not affect the products being sold. People who were more concerned with internet brownie points than actually keeping the company alive, hired by people who (in my opinion) believed the companies success to be forgone and far removed from active decision making; simply make product and they will consume.
That last part is why the “Potential” is there – you have to earn your sales. Every time. While Twitter has no influence over Duke Nukem getting a new game (at least until you hand it over to them), Duke Nukem Forever very well might. It wasn’t the worst thing ever, and in fact not even the worst game Duke’s been in. But the 11 year wait for a game of that kind of inconsistent quality is going to at best have people joke about maybe finishing the game this time. So while the game won’t need several expensive CGI trailers or top of the line graphics even, it needs to be on track and have a consistent vision when being made (and with Randy Pitchford no longer as CEO, that actually has a chance of happening).
So, the actual challenge to bring Duke back isn’t that he’s too problematic (sales make profit, not tweets). The problem is that it’s last entry was a decade ago, over hyped and at best anything but a stellar addition to the series. That’s the real challenge to overcome, and only showing off promising gameplay footage that’s accurate to the final product will fix that.
Part 2: Plot
Okay, enough with marketing and social media nonsense. On to the actual game itself.
Picking up where Duke Nukem Forever left off, Duke has successfully won his run for President Of The United States (with one hell of a red Tuxedo), and is currently in the middle of a press conference with some lovely news reporters. These questions, which can best be summed up as “Duke, why are you so awesome?” and “Jane, why don’t you wear proper clothes?” get interrupted by General Graves, who is then interrupted by an Alien teleporting into the oval office attempting to kill Duke (who promptly kicks it into the wall, making it splat).
Duke, realizing that the alien menace has returned once again, orders Jane to evacuate the White House while getting Tom and Jerry on the line, and orders General Graves to deploy the EDF as he gears up to head to the front lines. A different old man who claims to be Duke’s strategic officer tries to talk him out of it, but Duke tells him to kiss is ass. He tries to claim he already does that, but the automated door cuts him off. Graves hands Duke a briefcase, revealing Tom and Jerry to be his starting pistols. Duke then dawns a his jetpack, and decides if he wants to wear his presidential attire or his classic outfit (the player decides this; it has no affect on gameplay).
And in terms of a plot, that’s actually all Duke Nukem needs. At least, for the main story. Most additional cutscenes and character dialogues would be hidden in secret areas (like how there were Easter eggs in Boomer Shooters of Duke’s era). Beyond that, any dialogue is either between Duke and the character real time or via Radio (such as with Graves and Jane). Even then, most of the secrets would be various gags. So while there is a bit more context for the situation to be gained over the course of the game, the five episodes of the plot remains straight forward: Aliens are back, and Duke’s having none of that shit.
Part 3: Characters
Since the plot is about as simple as it gets, let’s use characters to transfer over to gameplay. Beyond Duke himself, whose personality is comparable to 3D and Forever, here’s who else he’d encounter:
General Graves
While President-Elect Duke Nukem operates under the rule that people answer to him, General Phil Graves serves as the exception to this rule – when Duke determines he himself is needed in battle, Graves is trusted to be his eyes and ears. Graves, for his part, simply wishes to serve in combat more often. He also commands over the EDF, although his leadership skills with them is more grotesquely debated.
Phil Graves serves as Duke’s mission control in most cases, often being the voice that is heard in the start of each level. Typically, his PDA calls are the most plot important in updating Duke on any changes in the Alien status. He can also call Duke and warn him of certain ambushes, although this isn’t always the case. On the more Comedic side, he will occasionally chastise Duke for loosing focus in the mission, normally if a secret is found, but Duke himself only occasionally responds to this.
Graves, outside of cutscenes, is solemnly seen in game. On the rare occasion he is in person, he has his classic green uniform from the earlier games – most notably in the final episode where he starts to appear in levels to help Duke. There are two secrets where he is found in a different outfit. The first is in a laundry mat where he’s in his blue uniform from Forever, in which he’s simply doing his laundry. The funnier of the two is Graves being in a hot tub with the news reporters from the opening, much to Duke’s annoyance (he was planning to do that).
Jane Fatale
Jane comes from a future where men have been wiped out and women were the only ones left to fight off the aliens. With most women being enslaved or killed for fighting back, Jan sought out Duke. However, while he was able to destroy the alien scourge, Operation Repopulate turned out to be a bust as the aliens radiation had left the women of the planet unable to procreate. Running out of options, Jane was sent back in time to prevent this dark future from happening, with the time machine being destroyed to lock her in Duke’s present.
Jane originates from the PS1 title Land Of The Babes; this games gives that ending a darker twist and brings her back as Duke’s “Babe-in-chief”. Compared to Graves, Jane has more light-heart and flirtatious dialogue with Duke. She tends to get on the PDA whenever Duke rescues a Babe, although she sometimes drops some information on the location Duke’s in.
Towards the end of the game, she appears physically as an ally alongside Graves. It’s revealed that these aliens are the ones who ruined Jane’s time line. After letting it drop that, during Duke’s presidential campaign the two had a lot of sex thanks to Jane’s infertility, they aren’t sure if this was the worst thing ever. General graves reminding them about the women in the lost future gives both of them a bloodlust for the aliens.
Jane and Duke agree to shag in the alien leader’s bed before the blow the ship up, because of course they do.
Dylan
One of the few members of the EDF (Earth Defense Force, and exclusively the American branch) who has seen multiple years of service. He’s prone to swearing… well, a lot. Like, way too much. But he’s really useful with a gun, and that’s all he needs most of the time. He has a loving girlfriend named Sally, although their relationship seems to be based entirely on fighting and making up after the fact. Despite Dylan’s low rank and lower standards, he’s still alive and they’re still together so he’s doing something right.
The foul mouthed soldier from Forever returns, as does most of the EDF. Dylan, however, has little actual role in the plot beyond finding the aliens alongside Duke. Instead, each episode has at least once chapter where Dylan fights alongside Duke, normally in levels with infinitely respawning enemies. Dylan himself can be knocked out, but will never die outright. In some levels, Dylan can be found in a secret room for some invincible assistance. Dylan has to reload but never runs out of ammo, so letting him thin out crowds or distract enemies while Duke handles the big guys is a legitimate strategy – one Duke will comment on to Dylan’s annoyance.
Brad O.G.
Brad Oswald Gibson is the finest sniper in the EDF, and even earned an illustrious Duke Nukems “As Good As Me” medal for his contributions to a minor alien resurgence at the start of his presidency. This tall African American is also well known for his top-of-the-line handlebar mustache, making him a truly distinguished individual.
Brad appears in the middle episodes to offer sniping support to Duke. While he’ll rarely kill an enemy, enemies hit by his laser rifle will take extra damage from Duke’s attacks. He will also serve as mission control for those missions. Here, he’ll get an almost sexual pleasure from killing aliens, eventually making Duke a bit unnerved. However, given that he’s kinda related to a lot of the dead EDF soldiers, it could be seen as payback.
Brad does not appear in the final episode in person, but gets some PDA conversations with Duke, Graves, and Jane.
Brad Clones
Brad’s services to his country doesn’t end with his sniping but only began – when Duke and Jane presented the idea of using Alien cloning technology to bolster the EDF forces, Brad volunteered himself for the program. The clone process worked, but there were some… unforeseen consequences. The cloning process rendered the clones less intelligent than their originator. Plus, Brad being a world-renowned sniper did not translate to frontline combat experience. As such, these clones don’t have the highest life expectancy.
Brad Clones, beyond the benefit of being able to reuse Brad’s character model, can be found in nearly every single level in the game. That said, they’re dead most of the time. While there isn’t anything that can be done for the corpses (or the Pigcops), their weapons and armor can certainly aid Duke on his adventure.
There are several secret rooms that contain a surviving Brad Clone, with some having three or four on standby. Duke can recruit them for combat in the levels, but don’t expect them to live long. Sure, they have full health and full armor when Duke recruits them, but they lack any sense of self preservation and generally just stand out in the open, even during a fire fight. As a result, Duke himself is very apathetic to the clones, often cracking a joke if one of them goes down (“I guess we’ll have to grow more.”). In fact, Duke can actively kill a Brad Clone with no repercussions, and even receive an ego boost for doing so, as if he killed an enemy.
Each Brad Clone has two letters next to his name for identification sake. In gameplay, these to letters can be A through E (A.B., C.E., D.A., etc). The only thing visually distinct between the clones is their facial hair varies between each other and the real Brad. Brad clones also can appear as passive NPCs in several maps, serving mostly comedic roles in these cases.
The Converted
A purple version of the Assault Commander enemy who has defected to Earth’s side, and is intent on helping the EDF stop the scourge’s efforts to converts Earth’s men into alien soldiers and women into organic cloning machines. He might not have a halo over his head, but this galactic lizard is on his way to earning his wings.
The Converted appears as mission control throughout almost the entirety of Episode 5, aside from the first mission where the player is tasked with breaking him out of prison on an alien ship. While he’ll come out of nowhere to the more casual players, several secrets involve messages from him from as early as Episode 1. The Converted is the only example of a mission control character who is encountered during gameplay first.
Gus
This kooky old miner has been paranoid about aliens longer than Duke’s been fighting them. As such, he’s put his profession to great use and mined out a bunch of caverns to make secret panic rooms for whoever may find them should aliens ever arrive. For Duke, this means that there’s several secret rooms with extra health or ammo. There’s just also a weirdo in most of them.
Gus was originally meant for Duke Nukem Forever but was cut out of the final game.
Gus has no plot relevance in the entire game; he’s the only character Duke never has to interact with and has no mandatory PDA calls; he’s the only major character in fact Duke can theoretically never see or hear. On the other hand, he has the potential to be the more reoccurring characters in the game, with every non-boss level having him hidden somewhere. This does not strictly mean he’s always in a panic room, as there are only 20 of them in the game and the final episode only has one in the first level. Gus can also be found at campfires cooking hot dogs, at a strip club doing nothing(?), or sniping Pigcops from a roof top (this last one is the most likely to be a casual player’s first encounter if they’re not looking for secrets, since his rifle can be heard).
Gus is also unlike most characters in terms of personality. Whenever Duke finds him, he’ll often take the piss out of him in some way (mocking his sun glasses, asking if he’s getting too old for this, mention Duke’s inability to keep it in his pants, etc). Duke also (somewhat uncharacteristically) pays no mind to this outside of a few examples to further a joke. Despite this mockery, Gus has no issue with Duke taking whatever he needs in terms of ammo or health.
Gus has a few PDA and phone calls Duke can part take in. In the final episode, Duke can discover Gus hijacked an alien ship and is shooting down as many of them as he can. He then plans to crash land into the ocean, just to scare the piss out some poor navy seals. It is unknown if he survives this endeavor or not.
Minor Characters
This is a list of smaller characters with bit roles or one-time appearances
- Sex Workers – Found in a few levels. Aliens, Pigcops nor Brad Clones can keep their eyes off them. (Dylan is immune to their lure), Duke can make use of this to easily slay some enemies. If Duke actually kills a Sex Worker, he’ll audibly hate himself for it and spawn in extra aliens. Alternatively, he can pay them in hopes of getting some exposure (this feature can be disabled for online streaming)
- Tommy Slov Jr. – A Fanboy of Duke’s. He wears Master Chief’s helmet, which Duke confuses for a bicycle helmet. Asking for an autograph, Duke signs it and promises him that he’ll some day be strong enough to not need power armor.
- Myra Slov – Tommy’s hot mother. Duke laments that she’s taken, but when she shows concern over duke sending her husband to Mars to destroy their secret base, Duke will mention that he doubts he’s doomed.
- President Ghost – The spirit of the president from Duke Nukem forever. When he is discovered, he’ll simply tell Duke to fuck off and stay away from his daughter. Duke intends to do neither.
- Former President’s Daughter: Parody of Ashley Graham from RE4, and one of several babes that Duke can save is.
- Dogs – Duke can find blood hounds in some levels. Pressing the interact button will have Duke pet him, boosting his Ego (25% the first time, and can be continually pet to gradually increase up to 100% max if not already there/over). Duke can kill them, but this’ll actually lower his Ego. Dogs can only be killed with Duke’s melee attacks
- Duke Burger Mascot – The guy who works at the Duke Burger in the Mascot costume. He can turn hostile if Duke talks to him long enough. While he can be killed, knocking him out with a single punch or kick will instead boost Duke’s Ego by 25% and have him utter the line “Why do we keep hiring butt heads like that clown?”
Part 4: U.I., Jetpacks, & Controls
The MS Paint image above isn’t abstract art; it’s a simplistic representation of what the UI would look like. Or rather, two versions of the same UI. The left UI shows all six elements at 100%, while the right side shows the UI at various percentages either below or even above 100%. All of these meters carry between levels, but not episodes.
- Red Bar: Duke’s health. Don’t let this hit zero or you redo the level. And that would suck. Thankfully, you can actually raise Duke’s health over 100% in certain circumstances. Restore Duke’s health with healing supplies.
- Blue Bar: Duke’s armor. Not power armor, that’s for people without power; classic steel armor that reduces vital damage; The percentage varies between attacks (For example, armor stops 50% of bullet damage, 75% of fire damage, 25% laser damage, and cannot stop radiation damage). Keep in mind that any damage not coming out of your health instead comes out of the armor, and armor is a bit harder to find than health.
- Yellow Bar: Duke’s Ego. Unlike the other two, Duke’s ego will slowly refill overtime up to 100%, although from zero this takes about a full 50 seconds. However, Duke can also raise his Ego well above that maximum through of a variety of means. From killing enemies to discovering secrets to saving Babes, Duke’s Ego can raise as high as 300% from those boosts. Duke’s ego serves as a universal resource for some of Duke’s tools.
- Red Box: Gasoline. Unlike other games, Duke has his jetpack at all times. His Ego is potent enough to fuel this jet pack, but finding a can of gas will give Duke fuel for a considerable amount of time, allowing him to save his Ego for more important matters. Once emptied, the jetpack consumes Ego as usual. Once a gas can is picked up, the meter refills to exactly 100%, so be wise about picking one up to avoid wasting gas.
- Blue Box: Oxygen. Duke’s Ego will double as his air meter (so don’t go swimming right after a long flight if you can help it). If Duke can find a tank of oxygen, however, he can breath underwater (or in space, if needed) without having to drain his Ego. Same rules as the gas can applies when running out or replacing an oxygen tank.
- Yellow Box: Duke Boots. Duke’s armor does little to prevent the hazards Duke can step on, such as fire, acid, lava, electric water, radiation, and such. The Duke Boots (known previously as Protective Boots) are a unique form of armor for these treats. While this might seem more mundane, it can allow Duke to take short cuts or make risky plays he’d otherwise lose health for doing. Just remember the rules the Gas and Oxygen apply by when you find a new pair of Boots.
If your wondering why I didn’t color-code the text, it’s because WordPress’s editor is a bit of a pain to work with.
While Duke always has his jetpack and deep water is fairly common, not every single level would be open, as levels with hallways and mazes would still be around (especially the sewers). Mission Objectives can range anywhere from finding the exist to escorting an important character back to the entrance (usually the indestructible Dylan), or trying to collect/destroy set items. I won’t be listing levels in the write up; I personally don’t think the level themes are too important other than the desire to have them be different, and given that even the rushed Duke Nukem Forever didn’t have issues with level variety, I don’t think there’s any concern of a new game struggling in this area.
Now, for the controls, I’ll be using and Xbox One (Xbone) controller. Left and right sticks do exactly what you think they do, and I’m also assuming you can guess which button pauses the game and which one pulls out the map. There is no srpint button as Duke simply moves quickly. As for the rest:
- A Button: Duke jumps. When Duke is flying, swimming or in orbit, hold it to ascend upward.
- B Button: Cause Duke to interact with the environment.
- X Button: Makes Duke crouch. When flying, swimming, or floating, hold it to descend.
- Y Button: Duke quickly gives enemies the Quick Kick, serving as his melee attack. Duke has infinite stamina, but kicking will interrupt his gunfire.
- L3: Activates or deactivates the jetpack. The jetpack can be used underwater or in space in increase his natural movement, but Duke’s Ego will drain rapidly.
- R3: Activates lock on to a single enemy, allowing Duke to focus on strafing around them. Ideal for bosses or single annoying enemies.
- RT: Primary Fire
- LT: Secondary Fire
- RB: Pulls up Duke’s inventory, allowing him to switch weapons while the gameplay slows down to a slower pace but not outright pausing. From here, either the left stick or the four face buttons are used to switch weapons. Weapons are divided into four sections with four weapons per section.
- Yellow Top Section: “Good Old Reliables” Dukes weaker but dependable options. Can be quickly toggle with Y in the inventory menu
- Blue Left Section: “The Artillery” Duke more power firearms. Can be quickly toggle with X in the menu.
- Red Right Section: “Utility Belt” Weapons that focus on secondary effects outside of simply spitting bullets. Toggle through with B.
- Green Bottom Section: “The Devastators” Duke’s heavy duty explosive weapons, and often the most ammo challenge. Toggle through with A.
- LB: Use Duke’s quick slot weapon.
- D-Pad: Switch out which of the four quick slot items is active. Can be done real time or in the inventor
Part 5: Guns, Gadgets, and Glory
So, what’s the Duke packing?
Good Old Reliables
The Dukes & The Mighty Kick
“Mama Nukem said Knock You Out”
“The Dukes” refer to Duke Nukem’s fists. Pressing the primary fire will simply have Duke throw a punch. The button can be held down for continuous punching, with Duke alternating fists every time. While this attack is not terribly strong, Duke punches pretty quickly and has no stamina limitations, making it a viable option against single opponents if the player is more concerned with ammo than speed running. Pressing the Melee Button will not have him kick, but instead upper cut. This does no more damage, but stuns the enemy without knocking it away like Duke’s kick does. The secondary fire actually has Duke support himself with his arms and use his feet for kicking. This skill is a reference to the beloved glitch in Duke Nukem 3D where Duke could kick and quick kick while moving with enough practice. When Duke starts doing this, his height actually lowers to being on par with crouching, allowing him to have a strong close combat weapon while moving faster than if he was crouching. However, he is slower than normal movement, cannot jump nor use the jetpack while in Kick mode and [unlike in crouch mode] cannot use guns.
Regardless of Duke’s melee choice, an experienced player can deal some serious damage while save on resources.
Saw Blades
“Time to unleashes my Wang.”
Ammo in pickup: 5
Max Ammo: 50
Look up Shadow Warrior to learn what Duke’s referencing. Saw Blades are improvised weapons that Duke throws at dangerous speeds. Primary fire has Duke throw it like a ninja star. While it’s damage output is pretty average, horizontally thrown saw blades can pass through enemies if the arc doesn’t have them hit the floor. Secondary fire instead has Duke use an underhand toss. This toss has it go higher up but arc harder, decreasing it’s distance but allowing it to be lobbed over cover. Generally an improvised weapon that can be found on most levels.
Sawblades excel the best against airborne enemies, who take extra damage.
Tom And Jerry
“Ready for service, old chums?”
Ammo in weapon: 48 (Pistol) and 24 (Magnum)
Ammo in pickup: 16 (Pistol) and 8 (Magnum)
Max Ammo: 240 (Pistol) and 120 (Magnum)
Tom and Jerry are Duke’s two starting pistols. As Duke’s default guns, they suffer from one massive downside almost no other gun does: a need to reload. While some guns are reloaded between shots, the two pistols have to be reloaded between magazines. Primary fire will fire Jerry (a golden M1911) while secondary fire will fire Tom (a chrome Desert Eagle). Duke starts every episode with these two guns, and any level that doesn’t involve Duke lacking weapons gives him one at the start if chosen in Free Play. overall, Duke can use these as backups
Jerry has a good rate of fire to compensate for it’s lower damage, while Tom does respectable damage for a side arm but has much more recoil and a slightly lower clip size. Both handguns are very accurate at a standstill, but only the handgun retains is while moving, so the Magnum is a poor choice for run and gun combat. While it is possible to fire both handguns at the same time, it is not advised as the accuracy will be abysmal (especially for the Magnum, even without moving). Reloading occurs automatically once all the ammo in a pistol has been fired, so if Duke only has a few bullets in either pistol, wasting it to reload might be wise, since neither pistol can be fired if one is being reloaded.
These two pistols ensure that Duke often has reliable ranged options at almost all times.
Baby’s First Gun
“If it bleeds, this can kill it.”
“Double your gun, double your fun.”
Ammo in weapon: 60
Ammo in pickup: 30
Max Ammo: 180
A fully automatic military rifle, and a classic of American action heroes. Duke finds this as soon as he starts seeing dead EDF soldiers, especially the Brad Clones.
This assault rifle is found in the second level of episode 1 pretty easily as well as being a secret in the first, and serves as the players first “powerful” weapon. Holding down primary fire allows for fully automatic ballistic carnage and is accurate at medium-to far range, making it an acceptable weapon in most situations. It’s ammo is fairly common too, which is good since the weapon can chew through it’s bullets pretty easily. Sadly, it’s raw damage output per shot is only a bit stronger than the handgun’s, so armored enemies that can negate DPS are not ideal targets.
Once Duke finds a second rifle at any point, using secondary fire will have him dual-wield M16s. The accuracy falls to the wayside here compared to him two-handing a single rifle, but the crazy DPS can mow down rooms of weak enemies or rack up damage on a single target. Pressing secondary fire again to go back to a single assault rifle.
The Artillery
First Love
“Groovy”
Ammo in weapon: 10 (shotgun) and 10 (gravity magnet)
Ammo in pickup: 10 (shotgun) and 5 (gravity magnet)
Max Ammo: 80 (shotgun) and 30 (gravity magnet)
A lovely pump-action red and silver shotgun, personally designed by Jane for the Earth Defense Force. It’s primary fire has it unleash pellet hell. It loses damage over distance, so waiting for close range is important. On top of that, it’s been given an attachment of reversed-engineered alien tech: the Gravity Magnet. Sure, it looks like a cartoon magnet, but pressing secondary fire will have it try to grab something to throw for three seconds. It’s worth mentioning that there’s a 2-second recharge between failed attempts to grab something. Once an item had been grabbed by it, pressing secondary fire again will launch it as a mighty projectile – it is at this point that ammo is actually consumed.
This can be used in interesting tactics, such as grabbing any enemy and then pressing primary fire to deal a max damage shotgun shell – but remember that enemies will start to melee Duke if he does this. Alternatively, if the player is feeling brave, they can try to grab an enemy’s explosive and then use the secondary fire to launch it back at them. Just remember not to shoot the bomb floating in front of you with your shells by mistake. That’s be embarrassing.
The Bulge
“Can you feel what the Duke is packing?”
Ammo in weapon: 2
Max Ammo: 20
The Bulge is a double-barrel shotgun that nears two and a half feet long. It’s also unique in that it shares it’s ammo pool with another weapon. This weapon’s ammo max will be added to the other shotgun’s once both have been acquired. It can be acquired the same level as the standard shotgun via a secret, but isn’t put on the main path of a level until the end of episode 1.
The Bulge operates similar to the Super Shotgun from Doom in that it can fire accurately and deadly at even long ranges, but it suffers from an awful rate of fire in needing to be reloaded every shot. On top of that, the primary fire uses both shells at once. While this doubles the damage per shot, it makes it poorly suited for horde combat whereas the standard shotgun fairs pretty well, even with the pump action. The gun also has the unique ability to deal double damage against armor, making it good for armored Pigcops. If the player needs a shotgun for longer range but wants to conserve ammo, the secondary fire will fire a second shell. Primary fire will only fire a single shell if only a single shell is left.
Ripper
“Oh yeah – time to Rip and Tear.”
Ammo in weapon: 50
Ammo in pickup: 50
Max Ammo: 250
A fully automatic chaingun cannon with three barrels. It’s bullets are massive and deadly, allowing it to utterly shred hordes of weaker enemies and can turn strong enemies into swiss cheese with concentrated fire. Primary fire is fully automatic while secondary fire fires in three-round bursts. This weapon is far stronger than any assault rifle and can even penetrate targets, but it’s lackluster accuracy makes it too unreliable at medium to longer ranges, and ammo isn’t as plentiful as the assault rifle or even the shotguns. As such, this weapon is better suited for enclosed spaces than the wide open.
Shots from this gun can penetrate targets and cause it’s victims to stumble, making it one of Duke’s more deadly options.
Radiation Rifle
“Welcome to the fallout, you Alien shits.”
This nuclear-reactor-powered sniper rifle has a mechanic in terms of it’s scope. R3, instead of activating lock on, will have Duke use the weapon’s scope. Pulling the weapon out will also remove lock on if already enabled on an enemy. When scoped in, Duke loses most of his mobility; his walking speed is slowed to a crawl, he can’t move at all with his jetpack or when swimming.
The positives are worth it, however. Not only is the range when scoped without parallel, but scoping in will have the miniature nuclear reactor charge the bullet the rifle with radiation instead of using the standard primer system; this grants a faster rate of fire and causes the bullet to explode on impact, maximizing damage. The primary fire is the standard issue sniper rifle shot, be it scoped or not. It’s secondary fire has the gun instead fire a nuclear green laser. This will still consume a bullet, and it actually does less damage. However, this laser can pass through several targets, and marks the shot’s first victim with radiation. Enemies hit with radiation will have a silhouette around them that appears trough walls, Radiated enemies also take extra damage from all bullets. This effect lasts 20 seconds.
Overall, a long range rifle that can serve more niche roles should the weapon ultimately need to.
Utility Belt
Dragon’s Breath
“Here’s some Chinese wisdom: He who stands in my way goes down in flames.”
“Let’s break the ice.”
Ammo in weapon: 50 (Napalm)
Ammo in pickup: 50 (Napalm) and 25 (Liquid Nitrogen)
Max Ammo: 500 (Napalm) and 200 (Liquid Nitrogen)
This napalm flamethrower is themes after a Chinese dragon. It’s primary fire unleashing hellfire from the “dragon’s” mouth. It’s flames can deal rapid damage to anything unfortunate enough to be within it’s range. Even if the rapid rush of fire is stopped or the enemy escapes it’s reach, the afterburn damage will hurt the enemy for 20 seconds. Duke could then switch to a weaker weapon that has more ammo, such as the M16 or his pistols to wither the target’s health down alongside the afterburn. This gives the flamethrower surprising effectiveness against most enemies: hit the target and strafe while the afterburn deals it’s damage, or melt a whole room of grunts.
The secondary fire is in the opposite direction: instead of a jet of flames, it shoots a lump of cold air that can go an exceptional distance. Enemies hit by it are afflicted with frost bite, slowing their movement down. Frostbite does not work on jet packs or enemies in space. Once slowed down, Duke has a few options: rush the target down with another weapon, use the reduced movement speed to close the distance for the flamethrower (although the fire will remove frostbite, so get close enough for the jets of fire to do their full damage), or continue to fire ice blasts to freeze the enemy solid and kill them with a single physical attack. Do note that some enemies take more shots to fully freeze than others.
The Dragon’s Breath can also be used to light fires or put them out, which more than a few secrets would rely on.
Up And Downer
“Time to downsize.”
“Hey Jane, you think we could repurpose the expansion ray to something more… beneficial?”
Ammo in weapon: 20
Ammo in pickup: 10 (Both)
Max Ammo: 100 (Each)
The Up and Downer uses two types of batteries for two different effects: the primary fire yellow circular lasers that shrink targets on hit (making this attack a projectile) while the secondary fire unleashes purple electricity (hitscan) that will make a target expand in size. Functionally, these weapons are fairly similar in use: adjust an enemy’s size for an easy kill. Subtle differences do make one fire mode more preferable than the other in certain situations: the Shrink function requires Duke to actively kill the enemy (he can simply walk on them, or punch them in the case of a flying enemy) while the growth ray will kill the target on it’s own once they’re big enough. However, most enemies only need two or three shots to be shrunk, and some only need one. On the other hand, the enlargement effect will always take a minimum of two and up to four. A Shrunk enemy takes extra damage, while an enlarged enemy is made slower, so there’s tactics beyond going for the instant kills
The Ammo for the primary fire are yellow A power cells, while the secondary fire takes DD power cells.
Master Blaster
“I don’t know how the fuck this thing tracks anything… but I like it.”
Ammo in weapon: 50
Ammo in pickup: 25
Max Ammo: 200
Visually speaking, the Master Blaster is visually a combination of of Halo’s Plasma Pistol and the Needler, and it’s functionality matches this Frankenstein approach. The primary fire will unleash crystal needles that can home in on targets, although they aren’t particularly strong. The secondary fire has all the crystals on the gun charge with electricity, and then unleash a single EMP needle. It loses it’s homing properties and isn’t even much stronger than a normal shot, but will stun enemies, completely disable robotic and machine-based hazards, and can even disable an enemy’s jetpack.
This weapon is encounter irregularly until episode 5, where it becomes absurdly common.
The Fan Girls
“The best offense is best hidden out of sight.”
Ammo in weapon: 50 (Mini Sentry) and 3 (Proximity Bomb)
Ammo in pickup: 50 (Mini Sentry) and 3 (Proximity Bomb)
Max Ammo: 300 (Mini Sentry) and 15 (Proximity Bomb)
Rather than being weapons, these are traps that Duke can find and deploy. Primary fire has Duke toss a proximity bomb. It has to be on the ground for about a second to arm, then explodes when something gets too close. This does include Duke. However, he can freeze the bomb and safely pick it up, adding it back to his ammo pool. Duke can set it off with a gun, but there’s little purpose to this. Between the hassle to retrieve safely and the second of arming, it’s recommended that Duke places these just before a conflict breaks out. Thankfully, his jet pack can allow him to either toss from the sky or safely traverse his own mine field.
The secondary fire has Duke place a mini-sentry down instead, which will take three second to fully turn on. This turret has full 360 degree field of view, but only has 90 degrees of effective fire – in that any place outside of that will require it to turn around to fire. Since Duke only carries one automated turret at any given time, he should be wise about placing it so it has the best field of view. It’s range and accuracy is better than on might think, making it a good anti-air weapon to deploy if jetpacks are involved. Pressing secondary fire when next to a deployed mini-sentry will have him grab it.
If Duke does not remember to pick up the sentry before leaving the level, he’ll lose it and need to find another. Between that and the proxy bomb’s chance to severally hurt Duke, these are not “toss and forget” tools.
The Devastators
The Solution
“I’m gonna blow the shit out of something with this.”
Ammo in weapon: 5 (Ballistic Missiles) and 20 (Stinger Missiles)
Ammo in pickup: 5 (Ballistic Missiles) and 15 (Stringer Missiles)
Max Ammo: 50 (Ballistic Missiles) and 99 (Stinger Missiles)
This loose adaptation of the M202 FLASH features two missile chambers on the top and six smaller missile chambers below it. The primary fire unleashes a single missile, which fires straight. Once it explodes, a fireball keeps going. This fireball lits enemies on fire, does massive damage, and can still destroy walls. This makes the ballistic missiles less ideal for hordes and better for bosses, bigger enemies, and cracks in the wall.
Whatever you do, do not try to rocket jump – the fireball when hitting something other than an enemy or destructible wall will have the fire and blast radius blast backwards, not just spread out. If by some miracle you have enough health and armor to survive such a stupid tactic, the afterburn will ensure that you die before you hit the ground.
The secondary fire unleashes stinger missiles. These missiles start to spiral out of control at longer ranges, but can be shot rapid-fire. This, along with the minimal blast radius, makes it the safest option for explosive damage, and can be a decent horde clearer. It’s also good for draining the health down of medium-to-high tier enemies. Sadly, the stinger missiles cannot destroy cracked walls.
On a bizarre note, The Solution is one of the only two in the game where the primary ammo is more rare than the secondary.
Bombs of Steel
“I’ve got Bombs of Steel.”
“Hell yeah – Balls of Thunder.”
Ammo in weapon: 25 (Grenades)
Ammo in pickup: 10 (Grenades) and 5 (Tesla Balls)
Max Ammo: 100 (Grenades and Tesla Balls)
The two drums at the back of this single chamber grenade launcher gives it a phalic appearance. The grenades used in the primary fire have a larger blast radius than either missile (full 360 degree destruction), but do not blow up on contact; instead, the ball hitting a surface arms it, and it donates a second and a half later. Even with this limitation, it’s a great weapon for destroying hordes of weaker enemies, and the most ammo efficient weapon for destroying cracked walls. The lack of any means to detonate in mid air makes it a poor boss killer.
The secondary fire involves Duke using Tesla Balls. These metallic balls don’t actually explode, but simply generate electricity. By itself, it’s not very effective. But the lightning jumps between the balls in any direction, and stuns enemies repeatedly while damaging them. Three to Five of these can even kill Pig Cops, and the lightning can disable jetpacks. Shooting one of these into the water will electrocute everyone in the water (Duke himself included), so if Duke has the health to spare and needs to clear the waters, this can work as a desperation attack.
Mine Launcher
“Now Stranger, this is a weapon.”
Ammo in weapon: 25
Ammo in pickup: 20
Max Ammo: 50
The mine launcher is the only weapon that doesn’t take two kinds of ammo. It’s primary fire unleashes it’s mine darts, with sink into walls, floor, and flesh indiscriminately. The secondary fire donates all the darts on the field. Only up to 10 darts can be deployed at a time; firing any more after that will cause the oldest one to explode. This weapon can be used to supplement the Fan Girls for defending an area, or as a makeshift boss killer if there’s no Ballistic or Stinger missiles available.
Duke’s Fucking Gamechanger
Ammo in weapon: 1
Ammo in pickup: 1 (Nuke) and 2 (HoloJanes)
Max Ammo: 3 (Nukes) and 10 (HoloJanes)
The DFG is the only weapon Duke doesn’t comment on when picking up, as the weapon speaks for itself: you’re launching a nuke.
This weapon’s primary fire will kill all non-boss enemies nearby Duke, These victims will be turned to ash, and all other enemies in the level will be afflicted with radiation for 2 minutes. Plus, the mere act of firing this weapon will fill Duke’s Ego back up to 100% if it’s not already so, and then there’s the kill bonuses. Given that ammo for this is really rare, ever shot must be used wisely.
The secondary fire flings out a disc that projects a holographic Jane, who will begin to start dancing. These “HoloJanes” will function like the Sex Workers in that they will effectively hypnotize enemies into look at her, allowing Duke to sneak around them or explore a room safely for the 20 seconds it lasts. Alternatively, Duke can look at Jane’s recording himself to regenerate his Ego faster. Unlike his natural regeneration, HoloJane can recover it beyond 100%. How fast it recovers is based on a few elements: how close is Duke, how many enemies are distracted, and is he over 100% Ego yet?
This is the other weapon where the primary ammo is harder to come by than the secondary ammo, but only just barely in this case.
Quickslot Items
Duke Brew
“Cheers.”
Duke Nukem’s personal brand of beer: it has the alcoholic contain of an entire six pack in a single glass. When consumed, Duke takes 90% less damage to his vitals (armor damage unaffected) and gains unlimited Ego (The Ego meter glows purple and slowly depletes to show the duration of the effect). And you need unlimited Ego to think using a jetpack while drunk is a good idea.
Steroids
“Dr. Valencia renewed my prescription.”
Steroids will double Duke’s running speed, makes his punches and kicks twice as powerful, and makes the saw blades an instant kill. Plus, he gains unlimited Ego when under their effects. They don’t last as long as the Duke Brew does, but turning Duke’s hands and feet into automatic weapons is always a viable option.
Instant Medical Attention
“Just a flesh wound.”
A first aid kit that can heal Duke for 100 health. It cannot heal Duke past 100% health, but the unused health will not go to waste if he doesn’t need all of it – he can simply heal up, and then save the rest. That heal will go to waste if he picks up a new first aid kit, so think before grabbing a fresh one.
Flash Banger
“And then Duke said: Let there be light.”
Unlike the other three weapons, Duke can actually story more than one Flash Banger, being able to hold up to three at once. This weapon is among the most straightforward Duke gets: throw it, it goes off, and enemies are stunned for a bit. Duke’s shades protect him from the bright light.
Recovery Items
Final section of this overly long section. None of these items can be stored in Duke’s inventory and are used when picked up.
- Vitamins: A white pill bottle of vitamins with a blue cross on it. Recovers 10% HP.
- Militant Medicine: A round glass bottle of a yellow liquid. Recovers 30% HP
- Atomic Health: A translucent green box with a blue and red atom inside. Recovers 50% of Duke’s HP, and has the unique ability to overheal Duke. Typically only found in secret locations.
- Armor: A full case of armor, giving Duke 100%. Found every now and then in the level, but often hidden in secret locations.
- Used Armor: This armor has seen better days. Rewarded to defeating Pigcops, it restore 25% to 50% armor.
- Although already covered, the Gasoline, Oxygen Tank, and Duke Boots all fit this category.
Part 6: Enemies
Okay, so that’s every Duke can shoot – but what’s he shooting at exactly?
- Assault Trooper – The grunt of the alien forces. Uses a weak laser pistol, and are mostly cannon fodder for Duke. Can be a threat if left in large groups, though. They drop handgun ammo, and on occasion shotgun or assault rifle ammo.
- Assault Commander – Leaders of an one given unit. Their jet packs allow them to fly, but can be shorted out with electricity. They can also mutate other humans into Pigcops, who are far more dangerous than their own soldiers are. Some variants wild Shrinkers to shrink down Duke; he’ll need to avoid being stomped on until he’s big again.
- Assault Captain – A stronger, faster version of the Assault Trooper with the Jetpack of an Assault Commander, they’re mini-bosses disguised as an enemy. their gun is also capable of fully automatic fire, although they don’t lean their shots and it wil overheat.
- Enforcer – A bulky alien lizard that can tank a lot of punishment. It lacks much in the way of mobility, so it often joins the faster Assault Troopers to tag team Duke.
- Firefly Soldier – An airborne flamethrower equipped dinosaur alien with a jetpack. As such, staying away and avoiding it’s fireballs is very important.
- Protozoid Slimer – a pile of goo of some kind. Can either kill or take over it’s host. it’s very weak on it’s own, though. If it’s attached itself to Duke, a human, or a babe, Duke can use his Dukes to rip them off if he quickly switches between them. When killed with a bullet, it’ll ooze out acidic blood; don’t step in that.
- Bare Pigcop – A member of law enforcement who mutated into a Pigcop and then some. With no armor and little thinking, it’ll attempt to ram Duke down. When they appear in groups of three of more, this can prove to be a problem.
- Pigcop – An improvised addition to the alien army, and frankly more dangerous than their own grunts. They wield shotguns by default, and are slow to fire but hit hard if they land. On rare occasions, can use an RPG. They can drop ammo for the weapon they’re using – shotgun, assault rifle, or even a ballistic missile. Can drop armor if they still had their armor.
- Pigcop Tank – A small tank driven by a Pigcop with a window for it’s head. Weak to explosives and the Shotgun can tear the armor up, but it’s otherwise very durable. Has a self destruct button on the back.
- Turret – It’s a automated Turret. You can easily kill it, and it can easily kill you; doubly so if it’s the rocket version. Depending on the type, it can drop handgun, assault rifle, chaingun, ballistic missiles, or mini-sentry ammo.
- Turret Sentry – A flying robot that will explode next to a target. When you here it gunning for you, shoot it before it reaches you.
- Newbeast – A human fully mutated by a Slimer. Despite it’s slender appearance, it’s very durable and can survive multiple direct explosives while resisting the elements. Combine this with it’s high jump, and it’s a resilient threat.
- Sharks – Can easily kill Duke if he gets too close, but don’t actively go after him. Duke has to hover around them for a while for them to attack, they otherwise will ignore him.
- Street Shark – A shark mutated by aliens into humanoid. They sometimes ride sea vehicles. The ability to have the shark bite on land makes them water more dangerous than most enemies. They take double damage from fire.
- Octobrain – Can fight in water, air or even space. Mostly throws junk at the Duke. This makes explosives dangerous to sue against them, as they’ll pick them up and fling them back at Duke.
- Muncher – An alien fish placed in earth waters to eat humans. Dies to any one hit and is gibbed on death, but a school of them can chews armor and health down quickly.
- Dukeinator – A cyborg Duke Nukem from an alternate bad future. Appears as an elite enemy in the end of the game. Bullets aren’t great against these. When it still has it’s flesh, it’s weak to the elements. When the robotic skeleton is exposed, it’s not treated as a machine. They never fare well against explosives.
Part 7: Measuring Contest
Duke Nukem: Eleventh Hour would not feature the standard difficulty selection, but instead offers modifiers to add handicaps or challenges as the player sees fit.
- Piece Of Cake – Removes some enemies from levels.
- Doctor’s Orders – All healing items can heal Duke beyond the max
- Serious Firepower – Doubles all ammo pick ups, increases ammo caps, and gives the pistols unlimited ammo.
- In Another Life – Every time Duke dies to an enemy, he’ll drop an Atomic Health in that spot for the next run through the level, assuming the player doesn’t quit. Up to three can be saved in a level, then the oldest one will be despawned.
- Ego Maniac – Damage dealt is converted into Duke’s Ego. This can recover Ego above 100%, but not above 200%.
- Come Get Some – Adds extra enemies to levels, many of them making enemy encounters ore dangerous. This does not counteract the Piece Of Cake difficulty, as that only affects the enemies that appear by default.
- Damn I’m Good – Take 25% extra damage.
- Die, You Son Of A Bitch! – Enemies that are not gibed, shattered, melted, or otherwise destroyed will revive in 25 seconds with fairly low health. Enemies killed under the effects of radiation will revive with full health.
- Precious Metal – Removes a lot of the ammo packs lying around the level, meaning the player needs to rely on ammo pickups and secret areas to restock ammo.
- Bruised Ego – Ego auto regeneration is disabled. However, all sources of Ego Regeneration are still in tact.
When starting up a new run, the camera will zoom away from Duke and he’ll unzip his pants. A black bar then appears (nothing would be modeled below this). This black bar will grow or shrink depending on how hard they’ve made the game, complete with a name commenting on it’s size (activating all 5 easy mods is “Too Small For TV”, all hard ones is “Literally Just For Show”. and having an equal amount of both or none at all is “recommended package”). This is mostly a visual gag, but it will be labelled as the “selected difficulty”.
Part 8: Secrets
Secrets simply refer to anything in the level that the player needs to explore or otherwise mess around with in order to find. As such, many different types of secrets can be found:
- Babes: Women in distress through the game. each level has a few glued to a wall for Duke to find, aside from boss levels. Their appearance is randomize across various assets. Duke will hold the babe on his shoulder (similar to the Duke Nukem Forever multiplayer mode) and pull out is default pistol. This only takes about 5 seconds, but Duke should still kill as many enemies as possible before saving them, since there’s no time limit for getting them back. Saving them rewards Duke with an Ego Boost.
- Secret Weapon: a weapon that’s hidden out of the way or is otherwise easy to miss they are typically weapons that aren’t found until later levels or even later episodes. Duke will often have to do some platforming, swimming, or jetpacking to get these.
- Movable Wall: A wall that can be moved to reveal a secret item, typically via a switch. This can range from a gun to extra ammo to even a babe. These are the easier secrets to find.
- VIP Babes: While standard babes are relatively generic, VIP Babes have unique designs, professions, and interactions with Duke. More than a few of them need help, and as a result they offer two Ego boosts – a small one for discovering them, and a larger one for helping them. Once they can safely be rescued, Jane will teleport them out. Examples include:
- Officer Jennifer Joy: A named member of the L.A.P.D. Duke must kill all the Pigcops around here, where she’ll reveal women are immune to the mutation.
- Professor Claire Sinfolds: A scientist who violates every dress code, much to Duke’s delight A reference to the character from the SIN series. Simply getting to her is the hard part.
- Kitty Pousoix: Duke’s personal maid, seen in Duke Nukem Forever. She’ll be saved very quickly.
- Sandra Patvari: Light-Brown haired lightly-tanned female mechanic familiar with Alien tech. A reference tothe only good character in The Outer Worlds.
- Ashley Ghost: The daughter of the 67th president of the United States. She has the hots for Duke (like most women in this world do), and is eager for some “Overtime”; Duke will need to carry her to a isolated room before getting teleported.
- Marsha Walra: A red haired woman mutated into a mermaid. Duke needs to revert her back to her human form to save her.
- Courtney Tightly: Blasain scientist who is a Half-Life reference. Drop’s Duke a unique all-access card when saved.
- Erika Cashmere: Duke Burger Cashier, and a hot one at that. Even in a standard, non-sexy uniform, she’s more appealing that the food. As she put on her resume.
- Eva Atoms: Despite having the large breasts and round rear that all women in the world of Duke Nukem possess, She is very tall (almost as tall as Duke) and fairly muscular. This is the result of Jane and Claire’s experimenting to amke “combat ready babes.” Duke, naturally, approves.
- Gus’s Panic Rooms: often requiring an explosive or a key card (maybe both), these rooms are a great way for Duke to get a lot of ammo back, and are essential when playing with Precious Metal enabled.
- Shout Outs: Like in Duke Nukem 3D, several recreations and references to other action heroes (with a special emphasis on FPS characters) can be found. Things like a temple devoted to Serious Sam, finding the alter from the start of Doom 2016, or entering Samus Aran’s gunship and looting the missiles.
- Messing Around: While not considered secrets in terms of completion, several mini-games and interactable elements can be found in levels, allowing for Duke to gain small bits of Ego. These are crucial if “bruised ego” is enabled. Examples of these include:
- Billiards
- Pinball
- Basket Ball
- All you Can Eat Pizza
- Working Out
- Darts With Bullets
Part 9: Multiplayer
And finally, multiplayer. The game would mostly stick to playing as Duke, with some additional costumes the player can wear based on certain achievements (like getting his red Presidential suit for beating the story mode). The multiplayer mode has some unique weapon models, but most weapons are more straightforward weapons from the single player mode.
- Melee Weapon
- Semi-Auto Pistol
- Magnum Pistol
- Assault Rifle
- Chaingun
- Shotgun
- Flame thrower
- Ice Thrower (recolor of the Flame Thrower)
- Rocket Launcher (Ballistic Missiles)
- Devastator (Sting Missiles)
- Laser Trip Wire
- Jet Pack (Set Fuel)
- Air Tank and Duke Boots are always equipped and regenerate over time, but also aren’t as effective as their campaign counterparts.
In all game modes, players can hold any four weapons. Upon death, they drop an Atomic Health and the weapon they’re using, but the rest of their weapons will carry to their next life. The game modes are:
- Dukematch: Classic game of Death Match, with everyone trying to kill everyone else. Players can turn on teams, give set lives, set a time limit, and/or set a kill count to reach for victory.
- Capture The Babe: Find and bring the enemy “Babe” back to yours. Capture the flag with a different context, basically.
- Earth Defense Force: Team up with three other players to fend off waves of aliens.
- Screw All Of You: Dukematch with a twist. Players are on a team as you all kill enemies in the arena for points, but once a player builds their Ego up, they can press secondary fire to enter Steroid Mode for as long as their Ego holds out and kill their teammates for massive points. The player must reach 100% Ego to enter rage mode, can store up to 200%, and loses all Ego upon death.
- Vertigo: Enter a tower with countless floors. Everyone has a Jet Pack, enemies are everywhere, and everyone is an enemy. Who can get the highest? Floors have more distance between them as the player acsends, and check points become more scare. Enemies spawn indefinitely.
Part 10: Conclusion
To me, the most important parts of this write up is what’s not here. Why is there no level up system? Because not every game needs one. Instead, why not have Duke just get the full gun? Why not just let the player actually get the full effects of the gun when they find it, and leave the decision making to the combat instead of “which gun do I want to be more useful?” If the player shouldn’t have the secondary fire right away, just don’t put the ammo for the secondary fire in the gun right away. And instead of increasing Duke’s health, just let him heal above the max if the player is careful enough or skilled enough to keep it up. Why not have a in-depth story? Because Duke’s charisma is the story. The plot is a set up for Duke to kill aliens, save the babes, and be Earth’s hero once again. And that’s all Duke needs to be; not every game needs to be narrative driven. Just a handful of side characters to give Duke more than just pop culture references and you have enough to work with. Why keep the crass sense of humor? Well, that’s Duke Nukem. It’s not that we can’t have crass entertainment anymore – it’s that companies for some reason have convinced themselves that social media reputation affects sales (when the likes of FIFA/Madden have proven making literal casinos in your games don’t affect sales).
So long as the devs have a clear focus, don’t switch engines in a stupid obsession with being cutting edge, and remember that Twitter is filled with Jack Thompsons, Duke will be welcome back.
The Squid Chamber 